Meltdowns are a common occurrence with autistic children. If you are not familiar with them, it can often be confusing or frightening to watch. Each child will respond to stimuli differently, but I will describe here how my son, Micah, reacts.
Stimuli for Micah can be either an attraction or a source of great distress. Things like new textures can be a form of stimuli that he can’t get enough of. Micah craves it. Even at 18 months old, he would sit under a cedar tree for over an hour just touching the leaves. He enjoyed the way that they felt. He was always drawn to those trees. It was as if he was obsessed with touching them. They were calming to him and he was content to remain under the tree to feel the leaves.
Not all stimuli as this calming effect. There are many sources of stimuli that cause a pain response in Micah. We have learned to identify potential problematic stimuli, but often we are learning as we go along. Let me give you some examples of stimuli that have negative effects.
Fluorescent lighting can be a huge one. Some autistic children, or those who have medical conditions which make them prone to seizures, can have a seizure brought on by the lighting.
There is movement in the long fluorescent light tubes most often used in stores and businesses. Children with sensory issues can be ultra-sensitive to the lights. Many people do not realize that light in these tubes moves. Normally, we are unaware of the movement as it happens very quickly. If the lights are not working properly, either blinking or the movement in the light tube is slow enough to be able to track it Micah will begin to scream out as if in pain. His worst stim response is when he begins to hit or bite himself also. It is a moment when he is simply in terror that is beyond his ability to cope.
Crowds or situations like being in a busy store can often cause a screaming response. If the room’s acoustics cause an echo, it is certain that Micah will have the pain reflex response. This response was once explained to me in this way. Imagine the pain of bee or wasp stings inside your head. You are in pain, scared, and unable to understand what is happening. It is an unsettling image right?
Can you imagine not understanding the stimuli around you other than knowing that it is causing you fear and physical pain? Add into that the inability to communicate to others what you are feeling. There is a complete loss of control over your situation. This is what Micah goes through every time he is hit with a bout of overstimulation. Is it any wonder that he will scream, hit or bite himself, or withdraws into himself to get away from it? How frightening would it be for any of us to deal with this each day of our life?
Our world is filled with stimuli. Sounds, colors, textures, smell, movements, tastes all are some of the many types of stimuli. New places can bring a whole new set of stimuli that the autistic child is being forced to adapt to. Things that we all take for granted are terrifying and often sources of pain to a child with autism. Yet, in order to be able to function in our world, they are forced to find a way to adapt. I cannot imagine the courage each and every autistic child must have to cope.
As a mom, I am in awe of my son. He has so much courage and trust. He trusts us to take him safely through these situations and many others. There are days, like last Friday, when I see him struggling, having a meltdown and it breaks this momma’s heart. I feel helpless in my lack of ability to take it all away. It is a feeling of having failed to protect him from it. Knowing that I must take him out and expose him to these things to help him learn to cope, yet knowing that in the helping, I am putting him into the situations is a hard thing to accept. My heart breaks each and every time. I know it must be done though. I cannot shelter him from the world. All I can do is gradually ease him into it. Often, there is no “easing” him into it. There are always the surprises. Unexpected loud noises or actions happen. There is no way to fully prepare Micah for these things.
I write this for one purpose. If you see a child having a full out meltdown out in public, have compassion. That child you are dismissing as a spoiled brat just may be an autistic child struggling to cope with their surroundings. That parent that you think lacks in parenting skills may be dealing with a heart broken knowing that they cannot make the coping as easy on their child as a typical child.
As a momma to an autistic 3 yr old, I can tell you that while my son is melting down, I am often struggling inside with my own emotions. It is not easy to watch your child go through this. Maybe one day soon I will write about how I cope. That is a topic for another day though.
ourprairiehome 